It’s Time for a Vinyl Reckoning

Well, Mark Seabrook, you’ve done it again. A simple Facebook post of yours has inspired me to create another blog post. I know in the past we have discussed vinyl topics such as locked grooves and Porky Prime Cuts, but those are niche conversations that the public at large has no real interest in.

The post in question raises matters of great social and political import that concern a great many citizens.


The issue: The issue: Far too many people are listening to music in the incorrect order when they choose to listen using vinyl records. For too long certain elements of the vinyl record listening public has not been following generally accepted guidelines when it comes to listening to audio recordings through the medium of grooved discs.

The illustration above clearly demonstrates the frustrations felt by many artists when listeners interact with their art in an unacceptable and inappropriate manner.

Towards a more just vinyl experience

Here is a 9-point plan that The Government plans to introduce on how to create a better, more inclusive, sustainable, and clear record listening experience for all, at least insofar as it relates to turning over those groovy discs during the listening experience.

A modest sonic proposal: The Government can encourage a better user experience for all citizens and improved listening experience for all by implementing the following 9-point action plan. It is a simple and much needed plan that will further enhance the listening enjoyment for all who enjoy consuming their music and other recordings via the vinyl medium.

It is also a holistic plan that takes into consideration various systemic issues within the domain of vinyl recordings, addresses them, and offers long-term solutions.

A 9-point Vinyl Reckoning Plan (9-VRP)

~Drop the needle and give it a listen~

  1. Set up a Crown Corporation to study the flipping of the sides, so as to allow clarity and transparency, consult with all affected parties including turntable manufactures, promise to support the domestic record producing industries with more studies and significant tax incentives;

  2. Implement a Side Flipping Tax that will punish those who play Side 2 first. There needs to be a price on improper listening (and Improper Dancing);

    Ban single-use cellophane wrapping on the manufacturing processes of new vinyl recordings that include music and/or spoken word material;

  3. Mandate that the pulp used to manufacture record album jackets is ethically sourced from sustainable wood, and that the manufacturing facilities of said record album jackets achieve carbon neutrality by the year 20331/3;

  4. Enact laws that ensure the spoken word and/or music has a high percentage of domestic value and is performed by domestic artists;

Side Two/Côté Deux

6) Legislate teachers to include in their curriculum important messaging about why it is important to be mindful of Side Flipping, while at the same time being empathetic with those who are triggered by a playing of sides that do not respect the intentions of the musicians, speakers, and other people who were involved in the production of the vinyl recording and have deep, real, and significant emotional attachments to their artistic artefacts;

7) Legislate a National Day of Vinyl Reckoning for those who have been affected by the playing of sides that goes against societal and artistic norms;

8) Enact mindful legislation that will ensure that instructions for the flipping of record albums are abundantly clear, free of gender-specific pronouns, and in both official languages;

9) Issue a formal apology, request that the RIAA do the same.


Comment le gouvernement gérerait la merde:

1) Mettre en place une société d’État pour étudier le retournement des côtés, afin de permettre la clarté et la transparence, consulter toutes les parties concernées, y compris les fabricants de platines, promettre de soutenir les industries nationales de production de disques avec plus d’études et des incitations fiscales importantes;

2) Recommander la mise en œuvre d’une taxe de retournement latéral qui punira ceux qui jouent en premier à Side 2. Il doit y avoir un prix sur une mauvaise écoute (ET une mauvaise danse!);

3) Interdire les emballages en cellophane à usage unique sur la fabrication de nouveaux enregistrements vinyles enrobés de papier contenant de la musique et/ou des créations orales;

4) Mandater que la pâte utilisée pour fabriquer les pochettes d’albums de disques provient de bois durable de manière éthique et que les installations de fabrication desdites pochettes d’albums de disques atteignent la neutralité carbone d’ici l’année 20331/3;

5) Adopter des lois garantissant que la parole et/ou la musique ont un pourcentage élevé de valeur nationale et sont interprétées par des artistes nationaux;

Côté Deux

6) Légiférer les enseignants pour qu’ils incluent dans leur programme des messages importants expliquant pourquoi il est important de garder à l’esprit le retournement de côté tout en faisant preuve d’empathie envers ceux qui sont déclenchés par un jeu de côtés qui ne respecte pas les intentions des musiciens, des orateurs et des d’autres personnes qui ont participé à la production de l’enregistrement vinyle et qui ont des attachements émotionnels profonds, réels et significatifs à leurs artefacts artistiques;

7) Légiférer sur une Journée nationale du calcul du vinyle pour ceux qui ont été touchés par le jeu des côtés qui va à l’encontre des normes sociétales et artistiques ;

8) Permettre une législation qui garantira que les instructions pour le retournement des albums de disques soient parfaitement claires, exemptes de pronoms sexospécifiques et dans les deux langues officielles;

9) Présentez des excuses formelles, demandez à la (Syndicat national de l’édition phonographique (SNEP) de faire de même.

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